Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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