Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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