She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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