Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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