I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
