yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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