U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I need water and some morals
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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