this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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