the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
