Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
