seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
