Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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