if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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