Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
