Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
