I wish i was in the wii world.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
