I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
