Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
