Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need help removing her.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
