Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
