what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
