no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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