why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
