Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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