it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
