k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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