We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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