Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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