Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
