how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
