I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
