Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
