and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
