Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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