well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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