I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i out mim tonsoeep
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