Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
