She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My life is pants optional.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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