im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just tell him i said nine months
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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