they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
