You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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