I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
