i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
