on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
no you cant smoke seaweed
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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