I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
