it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
