just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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