Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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