He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
