She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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