I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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