quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
