i think my tv is drunk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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